good night world..

Tonight, I can't really write for too long as I do need some sleep. I had a beautiful day today, one of those days where you want to treasure the moments and just bottle them up. I had a date with my husband..it was sweet and and so past overdue.

I got a really good nap that made me feel great, erased all those achy pains I had from the morning. My husband made dinner. Jack the puppy wasn't as nutty as usual. I got to Face book. My son actually made a small dent in his closet-cleaning mess. I figured out that someone who unfriended me hadn't done it on purpose. FB gets so messed up.

The best news was finding out that my girlfriend is coming for a visit and then the week-end after my brother is coming too. YES!

I still lost all of my pics and all of my notes from when my lap-top crashed. I have recovered everything else. It did teach me the importance of backing things up. If I had also been more patient..lol. No, still like to "fix" things. I have enough knowledge to be dangerous at times.

Every day is another step towards retaining my mental health and working on controlling my obsessions. I have described the depressions, and the urge for oblivion through whatever means. I also have to be careful of the "highs" where I feel I am invincible and can do no wrong. These are harder to describe, as this is what we tend to aim for. This is where my "god" fear comes in..it is easy to fall into that feeling of being swept up in glory. A massive holy ego-trip..lol. Yep, been there a few times...with witnesses and followers.

I do have plans and dreams, one step at a time..deciding which receives priority. Rebuilding myself this time with truth, hope and will. It does help to have guides or mentors this time. Slowly learning that I can only ask so much of them, that the process is up to me.

I am ending with a scripture that has been bugging me..King James version I John 4:

 ¹⁸There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
 
Learning how to love without fear?
 
The next level...
 
 ²⁰If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
 ²¹And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

We are all on the same big ball circling the same sun...Peace? Goodwill? Embracing our differences...in ourselves and in others..the thought makes me smile. TTYAL..thanks for listening.

Alice, Where are You Going? Part II

"Alice, Where are you going?" 

"Upstairs, to take a bath"

Alice, with legs like toothpicks and a neck like a giraffe-raff-raff...

Alice pulled out the plug.

"Oh my goodness! Oh my soul! There goes Alice down the hole.."

"blub, blub, blub." 

Alice, Where Are You Going? Part I

Crazy is as crazy does. LOL, My internal mind can be quite calm or a battlefield. One friend told me to not let anyone convince me I was insane..another person told me not only that I was beyond insane, but addicted to the chaos of it. They are both right.

My life now is about as sane as it can be. I have the kids, my hubby, my house, the puppy. I have different projects, this blog, Face book(!), cleaning, decorating and maintaining my home, cooking, all the other housewife kinds of things. I'm a parent and dog-owner..it is a pretty similar job, except I can't put my kids on a leash or in a cage. No matter how much I would like to at times! I watch TV, movies, listen to music, read..:-)

I go shopping, Wal-Mart/Target, Fry's, Kohl's, Pet-Smart, Home Depot, Office Max, etc., gas stations. I go out to eat, to the library, the bank, and to school functions. Lately, I have added various doctors' appointments and a weekly therapist. I try to take daily walks and during the summer swim daily. Max. my son, usually has at least one friend over at one point or goes to their house. I say hello to my neighbor's if I see them, on very rare occasions I visit with them or they come over.

Have I put you all to sleep yet?

The next level? Part II..sorry. I think quite a few people can relate to my story so far. The "madness" of it all is much harder to write and think about. I do promise that I won't make you wait long. I've always hated "to be continued"s..or "cliff-hangers".

Thank you all for reading so far. I was re-approved for my ads, if you click on them I might get paid. LOL, I have no idea what they do..I am not allowed to click on them. TTYAL very soon.