I have had so many thoughts on my mind. Some of them inter-connect and others just come out from random. I have been feeling insane, hopping from one mood to another to another. Cravings, desires, addictions, boredom, frustration, guilt and anger...and quite a few more that just have me crazy from one minute to the next. Not all are negative either, there's intense love, passion, happiness..OMG!
I realize except for a few psychology books and the reading I do on the web, or paper I haven't read a whole book for months. Hmm..would that help? My brain feels too full as it is. I have started books, lost interest and put them down, weird. Really, really bizarre for me.
Therapy has opened up more things, which helps lighten or expose the past dramas of my childhood and present life. But d**n, all this other stuff..whirlwind of whatever is for the birds or the hounds of hell. I am saying choice swear words here, most start with ef's, esses, and d's. Just shoot me or something, it would be a relief. I am adding some more of "those" kind of words. LOL
I do take myself too seriously and am then jolted back to reality. My daughter, my son..my husband, even Jack the puppy...all need me to hold up. They rely on me, and I draw strength from them. Max is back in physical therapy for his knees. I found it odd that the therapist remembered me and not Max. Except when he is in the pool I stay with him, and "joke" with him the entire time. It is to distract him from the pain...and helps both of us. The whole therapy area hears us, and I have never really cared. I guess they enjoyed it too.
My daughter's therapy is harder/easier in a way. Today Renee came out and right away, I knew. I hold her while she cries. She is so homesick for our "old" life back in WI. *me too, but as i told her, we take the good parts and re-build a newer better life where we are at. The tornado craziness stopped, my daughter needed me and needed me sane. RLT is her initials and I accepted that challenge the day she was finally born.
My hubby called and was tired, lonely and in pain..physical and emotional. It ended up being a good talk getting him to laugh and joke. Jack went nuts for awhile because I haven't been home 1/2 the day.Tomorrow? I don't know yet. Just enjoying my beautiful solitude and awesome weather right now.
My level today is being sane..facing reality. The next level is not just accepting it but molding it also. My life, my rules.
Your level, where are you at? Where do you need to be? What are your rules? Don't forget to laugh..LOLOL.
Thanks for listening, TTYAL. :-)
I realize except for a few psychology books and the reading I do on the web, or paper I haven't read a whole book for months. Hmm..would that help? My brain feels too full as it is. I have started books, lost interest and put them down, weird. Really, really bizarre for me.
Therapy has opened up more things, which helps lighten or expose the past dramas of my childhood and present life. But d**n, all this other stuff..whirlwind of whatever is for the birds or the hounds of hell. I am saying choice swear words here, most start with ef's, esses, and d's. Just shoot me or something, it would be a relief. I am adding some more of "those" kind of words. LOL
I do take myself too seriously and am then jolted back to reality. My daughter, my son..my husband, even Jack the puppy...all need me to hold up. They rely on me, and I draw strength from them. Max is back in physical therapy for his knees. I found it odd that the therapist remembered me and not Max. Except when he is in the pool I stay with him, and "joke" with him the entire time. It is to distract him from the pain...and helps both of us. The whole therapy area hears us, and I have never really cared. I guess they enjoyed it too.
My daughter's therapy is harder/easier in a way. Today Renee came out and right away, I knew. I hold her while she cries. She is so homesick for our "old" life back in WI. *me too, but as i told her, we take the good parts and re-build a newer better life where we are at. The tornado craziness stopped, my daughter needed me and needed me sane. RLT is her initials and I accepted that challenge the day she was finally born.
My hubby called and was tired, lonely and in pain..physical and emotional. It ended up being a good talk getting him to laugh and joke. Jack went nuts for awhile because I haven't been home 1/2 the day.Tomorrow? I don't know yet. Just enjoying my beautiful solitude and awesome weather right now.
My level today is being sane..facing reality. The next level is not just accepting it but molding it also. My life, my rules.
Your level, where are you at? Where do you need to be? What are your rules? Don't forget to laugh..LOLOL.
Thanks for listening, TTYAL. :-)
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