Reached a few realizations the other day. I will share those in a moment. For the next couple of lines I am going to sum up a few things about myself.
I am a 40-something year old woman who is going through menopause. I have a 13-year old daughter with Asperger's who is a musical prodigy, scary smart and disturbed/depressed. I have an 11-year old son who is addicted to X-box, is a "super-taster" and has weak knees with temper issues. I am married to and love my hubby. Who is a functional alcoholic and is almost never home as he sacrifices his every day life to provide for me and the kids. I have a not-so-evil (ha!) year-old puppy, 1/2 Chihuaha and 1/2 Manchester terrier, who was a rescue birthday present. I live in Arizona, in a desert outside of a town in a huge house inside a vast suburb on the edge of nowhere. Whew!
There's more? There is always more..! I suffer from depression, certain phobia's and am a recovering addict..(sex, love, Face book..) I was a Denny's server, and am currently un-employed. I left home at 18 and for the final time at 19 to escape from physical, mental, and spiritual abuse.
The one thing I have to say here is to all potential run-aways. I have been there and no, I don't know your exact situation. In America now, there are so many places to help..start with school counselors, or ask a respected adult, teacher to help you find help. If you do run, make sure you have a safe place to go first. Respect your folks, and caretakers and let them know you are ok. You don't have to tell them where you are BUT, give them the option of getting a message to you at the very least. Don't burn all your bridges!
I had a mental breakdown, facing the truths of myself and shattered my psyche. It isn't permanent damage, in fact, it was the first step towards truth and sanity. I have my moments, LOL..good, bad, up, down, around. I see a therapist and am on an anti-dep and anti-anxiety medicines. I am still smoking...d**n.
The thing is my loco puppy, who sleeps like a log 80% of the day and is out-of-his-mind insane the other 20..loves to chase his tail. He is doing it less than he used to but, he still has those moments where he notices it. What was that? He acts like it is something he has never seen before, ever. He tries to bite it ..and it moves..you all know what comes next. He chases it around and around till he gets bored, dizzy, or really bites it. That's an expression to laugh at, silly puppy.
I have been chasing my tail.
In my blogs, in my life, in my addictions, in some of my therapy... I have been explaining things, complaining, thinking I have found the next best thing. Now I am facing the fact that I haven't really changed a whole lot of anything yet. I am still way addicted to Face book, even though it bores me at times. Dizzy? LOL, I have been going around in various circles all my life. Now, I have extreme vertigo and motion-sickness. Youch! Do I really need to bite myself hard to wake up?
I know better than to expect instant results from anything. So far, I have been crawling forward, with a few side trips. BUT..(big but here, lol) I have to up my ante here. I need a more dedicated program for better mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Hmm..I am on the right path, no more crawling..time to stand up and walk.
I am not going to get specific here, yet. I am working on my level..aha and see a new one to aim for.
To my friend who sent me a wonderful message. You inspire me daily with your energy and love of life. It shows, you glow like a sun. So many are attracted to you, but you have to traverse more of the cosmos. You know that as unique and powerful as you are, there are not many who can match you. Which is why they burn out on you so quickly. You are never truly alone anyway as your God is always with you. Thanks for sharing, I am so glad I have met you. MUAH!
The rest of you may be on my level, or wherever..Do you have an aha moment? What are you aiming for? TTYAL thanks for listening.
I am a 40-something year old woman who is going through menopause. I have a 13-year old daughter with Asperger's who is a musical prodigy, scary smart and disturbed/depressed. I have an 11-year old son who is addicted to X-box, is a "super-taster" and has weak knees with temper issues. I am married to and love my hubby. Who is a functional alcoholic and is almost never home as he sacrifices his every day life to provide for me and the kids. I have a not-so-evil (ha!) year-old puppy, 1/2 Chihuaha and 1/2 Manchester terrier, who was a rescue birthday present. I live in Arizona, in a desert outside of a town in a huge house inside a vast suburb on the edge of nowhere. Whew!
There's more? There is always more..! I suffer from depression, certain phobia's and am a recovering addict..(sex, love, Face book..) I was a Denny's server, and am currently un-employed. I left home at 18 and for the final time at 19 to escape from physical, mental, and spiritual abuse.
The one thing I have to say here is to all potential run-aways. I have been there and no, I don't know your exact situation. In America now, there are so many places to help..start with school counselors, or ask a respected adult, teacher to help you find help. If you do run, make sure you have a safe place to go first. Respect your folks, and caretakers and let them know you are ok. You don't have to tell them where you are BUT, give them the option of getting a message to you at the very least. Don't burn all your bridges!
I had a mental breakdown, facing the truths of myself and shattered my psyche. It isn't permanent damage, in fact, it was the first step towards truth and sanity. I have my moments, LOL..good, bad, up, down, around. I see a therapist and am on an anti-dep and anti-anxiety medicines. I am still smoking...d**n.
The thing is my loco puppy, who sleeps like a log 80% of the day and is out-of-his-mind insane the other 20..loves to chase his tail. He is doing it less than he used to but, he still has those moments where he notices it. What was that? He acts like it is something he has never seen before, ever. He tries to bite it ..and it moves..you all know what comes next. He chases it around and around till he gets bored, dizzy, or really bites it. That's an expression to laugh at, silly puppy.
I have been chasing my tail.
In my blogs, in my life, in my addictions, in some of my therapy... I have been explaining things, complaining, thinking I have found the next best thing. Now I am facing the fact that I haven't really changed a whole lot of anything yet. I am still way addicted to Face book, even though it bores me at times. Dizzy? LOL, I have been going around in various circles all my life. Now, I have extreme vertigo and motion-sickness. Youch! Do I really need to bite myself hard to wake up?
I know better than to expect instant results from anything. So far, I have been crawling forward, with a few side trips. BUT..(big but here, lol) I have to up my ante here. I need a more dedicated program for better mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Hmm..I am on the right path, no more crawling..time to stand up and walk.
I am not going to get specific here, yet. I am working on my level..aha and see a new one to aim for.
To my friend who sent me a wonderful message. You inspire me daily with your energy and love of life. It shows, you glow like a sun. So many are attracted to you, but you have to traverse more of the cosmos. You know that as unique and powerful as you are, there are not many who can match you. Which is why they burn out on you so quickly. You are never truly alone anyway as your God is always with you. Thanks for sharing, I am so glad I have met you. MUAH!
The rest of you may be on my level, or wherever..Do you have an aha moment? What are you aiming for? TTYAL thanks for listening.
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