Was it Monday?

Another weird day today after days of strangeness. I am not over-medicating again or doing anything else. I just feel odd. My hubby was home this week-end. We had a good time. It was fun, and pleasant and we did manage to talk about some things. My son has been on again, off again..alternating between being a royal pain in the a$$ to being an awesome human being. He overdosed on home-made sugar cookies for two days and ended up throwing up sick last night. He is fine now. My daughter is always very touchy, but she had moments of absolute clarity this week-end.

She had another break-down at school with the same teacher as before. She hid in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. If she doesn't make it to class tomorrow she is suspended again. *sigh. I asked her about it and she doesn't have an answer. At this point, neither do I.

I feel like crap.

I am mentally tired, emotionally drained and physically ill. My spirituality could use a boost too. I have been craving cigarettes today. I know it is just a reaction to my stress and all. I did manage to get by it all...Awh..poop and heartburn. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat or don't. Nasty acid reflux.

I took Jack the puppy for a walk. It beautiful out tonight with a full moon and no clouds. I wore my new sandals to show off my pedicure. It is close to pitch black and know I am not going to see anybody. Which I didn't. But, it is my first ever pedicure. My hubby's treat this weekend. They look marvellous.

I have to laugh, I can dress up very nice. I just never was a big fan of girlie things. Pink was a color I loathed. I did make-up, high heels, dresses, jewellery and purses through junior high through high school. Usually it was for church, though I did it up occasionally for school events or to trip people out. It was a bet to see how many people would say hi to me in the hallways that normally wouldn't. I laugh, but I averaged 0-3 per class depending. Dressed up, I could get 6 to 10.

I got contacts freshman year, and had Lasik done about 8 years ago. It is so awesome. I love being able to see without my glasses or contacts. I was legally blind without them. I had short hair when I was little, and then was not allowed to cut it till I was 18. I don't miss it. I had tremendous headaches that disappeared after my hair was short. Woo-hoo! I didn't have my ears pierced till I was 19. I also never wore gold until my early 30's and found out I am allergic to it.

I just got into a fight with my daughter again. She is moping. Whatever. I am so tired of her drama at the same time that I know she needs major help. I get so irritated that she won't even try anything. We both walked away this time. Which is a good thing but aargh!

My phone just rang and it should be my hubby saying he made it to his hotel. I am glad, but I am not answering, yet. I am sick of phones and letters and not being able to see or touch the people I am talking to. Blah. It just makes me feel so much more isolated. I  did meet with my ladies group. That was so sweet.  We had an absolutely great time. They are so awesome. I was in a somewhat quiet mode. Yes, I do have those. I am getting there. We have our conference coming up, it is going to be so much fun.

I feel like I am babbling here. Maybe I am. I talk to my therapist soon, and have doctor appointments this week too. I am not looking forward to any of it. I have returns to do, groceries, laundry, cooking etc. All the stuff I still have to do. One step at a time. TTYAL. Thanks for listening.