Tonight is a night I could do without. My hubby is in another state. We haven't really connected these past few days at all. I get irritated. I don't want to talk to him on the phone or computer. I want him here, face to face. I need/want a physical touch between us. It isn't even sexual. I could blab about my day, sometimes he does about his. Right now neither one of us is talking or sharing anything. He knows I am lonely and fed-up. I know he is lonely too. This gets harder and harder, not easier.
My therapist said I had realized a lot of my goals and needed to set new ones. Really? I guess. I am way better than I was, but crap. He also said therapy isn't forever. Yeah, I knew that. I just don't want to think about it yet.
The two people in my life that I see every day are my son and daughter. They are driving me cuckoo. Part of my therapy is to learn better parenting skills. I haven't reached this goal at all. I am either too harsh or too easy. The love is there, rules and consequences, respect and following through all need a major overhaul and re-commitment. Does this sound familiar to any parents out there? Ugh, I let too many of my own concerns and worries keep a barrier between us. I don't think anyone realizes how hard being a single parent is, unless you are one. I am, but I'm not. One more group that I kind of belong to but don't fully.
I realized today that none of us ever went out the front door at all. Not once. I took garbage out back. That is the weird part of not smoking. I used to smoke about every 15 minutes or so. That meant I was outside for that time. Today I went out back, once, and never even unlocked the front door or opened the garage or gate. Huh, suburbian isolation at its best.
The worst part, except for a few of my neighbors, I really don't have contact with anyone I know at all. I didn't even see them. I hate it. This does not help my Facebook addiction which has been in full force the past few weeks. I at least managed to accomplish a few chores today. I caught up on laundry and cleaned up my kitchen, but blah. I didn't even take a shower..eww!
Still can't sleep even though I am exhausted. Ok, enough is enough. I will go try to snooze, thanks for listening.
Yeah, I am a bit strange, but it isn't like I have admitted otherwise. LOL, I don't own this picture and have no idea where it came from. Beautiful though.
My therapist said I had realized a lot of my goals and needed to set new ones. Really? I guess. I am way better than I was, but crap. He also said therapy isn't forever. Yeah, I knew that. I just don't want to think about it yet.
The two people in my life that I see every day are my son and daughter. They are driving me cuckoo. Part of my therapy is to learn better parenting skills. I haven't reached this goal at all. I am either too harsh or too easy. The love is there, rules and consequences, respect and following through all need a major overhaul and re-commitment. Does this sound familiar to any parents out there? Ugh, I let too many of my own concerns and worries keep a barrier between us. I don't think anyone realizes how hard being a single parent is, unless you are one. I am, but I'm not. One more group that I kind of belong to but don't fully.
I realized today that none of us ever went out the front door at all. Not once. I took garbage out back. That is the weird part of not smoking. I used to smoke about every 15 minutes or so. That meant I was outside for that time. Today I went out back, once, and never even unlocked the front door or opened the garage or gate. Huh, suburbian isolation at its best.
The worst part, except for a few of my neighbors, I really don't have contact with anyone I know at all. I didn't even see them. I hate it. This does not help my Facebook addiction which has been in full force the past few weeks. I at least managed to accomplish a few chores today. I caught up on laundry and cleaned up my kitchen, but blah. I didn't even take a shower..eww!
Still can't sleep even though I am exhausted. Ok, enough is enough. I will go try to snooze, thanks for listening.
"if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off" - michelle gray "I am a human being, not a human doing. Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren't what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don't... you aren't." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
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