I don't know why I am slipping today? It is a choice. I am tired of being so "frumpy". I want to loosen up, have fun, not have to be the mom or the responsible adult. It is an edge. I know I have played on it before. I wish my body had gotten the same message and could keep up. I am in physical pain, anytime I bend over. Yowza. I am using a pain pill.
That's better. I am letting some of my worries go for now. It feels so good. They will be back to tug at me, for now it is light, innocent, a temporary release. All is good, tranquil. Except for the herd of elephants upstairs? Oops. One second.
It was my daughter dancing in her room and her brother chasing back and forth. Okay. That's cool, it just echoes downstairs. Took the dog and hubby for a walk, it was beautiful out in my desert tonight. 58F, clear and calm with a full luminescent moon. There are very few lights in the complex I live in. You can see stars and hear coyotes, I have even seen owls and bats. I love walking at night, always have.
It is out here that I find my peace. I started this when I was a kid at 13. I mentioned before I would sneak out and walk. Cold, hot snowy, rainy..it didn't matter. The first time I tripped on acid I talked to a tree. I don't know how long we communed, or even what we said..it was a weeping willow. It was so long ago, in a galaxy so far away. LOL, I am not recommending LSD to anyone. What is done, is done. I smile. I always will have a special affinity towards trees.
This is where I point out that I had access to acid and pot before I ever tasted alcohol or coffee. Cigarettes ?, the laws have changed dramatically since I was a kid. I wasn't carded for cigarettes till I was 18-19 and I thought they were joking. Alcohol, I was almost always carded. I had "friends" buy for me. The majority of my friends didn't like to see me wasted. I hung around with a few known "stoners" at school, but didn't party with them. I don't even think they knew. It was my friends from my neighborhood, or me by myself. I made different combos out of diet pills, Mountain Dew and any type of prescription drugs I could get a hold of.
I still wish we would legalize drugs, especially marijuana. Not that I use any more, but because it was/is so stupid. Anybody that knows a user knows they aren't right in the head. They need help, therapy and drug rehab rather than jail time. I think we will find out that we (the American government in some branch) is actually in cahoots with the major drug cartels. It is all a sad joke, a "drug" war that has used up lives,
money, pain, murder..hell. "Legal marijuana" for cancer patients? I don't understand what the problem is. Cancer sucks, chemotherapy isn't a cure. It is a last ditch effort to poison/radiate the cancer. If pot makes them feel better, helps them with the nausea and pain, then what the hell?
People are going to use whether it is legal or not. Say no? Oh my God! Are you serious? Really?
The point with my diagnosis is that I can addict myself to anything. If I had stayed clean, I would still be having issues now. It doesn't take chemicals to be a using addict. I wish it were that simple. Simple, not easy..there is a big difference.
If I had a "magic" drug to help my daughter with her Asperger's? Hell, yeah I would give it to her. It is heart-breaking to see her suffer. School is a nightmare to her, home has its ups-and-downs. She doesn't have anywhere else. She has one friend her age. One. Her teachers are either fed up with her or so confused by her they don't know what to do. I have to say, I know how they feel. I have had her diagnosis since she was in 2nd grade? I have only talked with one school psychologist with any knowledge of it. Every "specialist" I have found is way out of my price range, doesn't accept my insurance or isn't taking "new" patients. The school? LOLOL..nothing. They ask me what to do with her.
I read and try different things. Sometimes this helps us. Sometimes it makes it worse.
It is a new morning, a new day.."hope springs eternal"
Thanks for listening as always. Love ya! I got to go do some chores.
I also have to add that I like people who are stoned. Most of the time they make me laugh. The sad part is when they are stoned all the time. You don't get to see the real person. Drunks can be fun or annoying or both. Hard-core druggies on meth, crack, heroin are scary and sad. I wouldn't trust them, invite them over or whatever. They need professional help which I am not. i'll chat about this more another time. TTYL.
That's better. I am letting some of my worries go for now. It feels so good. They will be back to tug at me, for now it is light, innocent, a temporary release. All is good, tranquil. Except for the herd of elephants upstairs? Oops. One second.
It was my daughter dancing in her room and her brother chasing back and forth. Okay. That's cool, it just echoes downstairs. Took the dog and hubby for a walk, it was beautiful out in my desert tonight. 58F, clear and calm with a full luminescent moon. There are very few lights in the complex I live in. You can see stars and hear coyotes, I have even seen owls and bats. I love walking at night, always have.
It is out here that I find my peace. I started this when I was a kid at 13. I mentioned before I would sneak out and walk. Cold, hot snowy, rainy..it didn't matter. The first time I tripped on acid I talked to a tree. I don't know how long we communed, or even what we said..it was a weeping willow. It was so long ago, in a galaxy so far away. LOL, I am not recommending LSD to anyone. What is done, is done. I smile. I always will have a special affinity towards trees.This is where I point out that I had access to acid and pot before I ever tasted alcohol or coffee. Cigarettes ?, the laws have changed dramatically since I was a kid. I wasn't carded for cigarettes till I was 18-19 and I thought they were joking. Alcohol, I was almost always carded. I had "friends" buy for me. The majority of my friends didn't like to see me wasted. I hung around with a few known "stoners" at school, but didn't party with them. I don't even think they knew. It was my friends from my neighborhood, or me by myself. I made different combos out of diet pills, Mountain Dew and any type of prescription drugs I could get a hold of.
I still wish we would legalize drugs, especially marijuana. Not that I use any more, but because it was/is so stupid. Anybody that knows a user knows they aren't right in the head. They need help, therapy and drug rehab rather than jail time. I think we will find out that we (the American government in some branch) is actually in cahoots with the major drug cartels. It is all a sad joke, a "drug" war that has used up lives,
money, pain, murder..hell. "Legal marijuana" for cancer patients? I don't understand what the problem is. Cancer sucks, chemotherapy isn't a cure. It is a last ditch effort to poison/radiate the cancer. If pot makes them feel better, helps them with the nausea and pain, then what the hell?
People are going to use whether it is legal or not. Say no? Oh my God! Are you serious? Really?
The point with my diagnosis is that I can addict myself to anything. If I had stayed clean, I would still be having issues now. It doesn't take chemicals to be a using addict. I wish it were that simple. Simple, not easy..there is a big difference.
If I had a "magic" drug to help my daughter with her Asperger's? Hell, yeah I would give it to her. It is heart-breaking to see her suffer. School is a nightmare to her, home has its ups-and-downs. She doesn't have anywhere else. She has one friend her age. One. Her teachers are either fed up with her or so confused by her they don't know what to do. I have to say, I know how they feel. I have had her diagnosis since she was in 2nd grade? I have only talked with one school psychologist with any knowledge of it. Every "specialist" I have found is way out of my price range, doesn't accept my insurance or isn't taking "new" patients. The school? LOLOL..nothing. They ask me what to do with her.
I read and try different things. Sometimes this helps us. Sometimes it makes it worse.
It is a new morning, a new day.."hope springs eternal"
Thanks for listening as always. Love ya! I got to go do some chores.
I also have to add that I like people who are stoned. Most of the time they make me laugh. The sad part is when they are stoned all the time. You don't get to see the real person. Drunks can be fun or annoying or both. Hard-core druggies on meth, crack, heroin are scary and sad. I wouldn't trust them, invite them over or whatever. They need professional help which I am not. i'll chat about this more another time. TTYL.
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