Ugh, it has been a couple of days or so. I have written stuff, but trust me, nothing anyone wants to read. I feel like crap. Physically, I am in a dump mode. My intestines are cramping, I am bloated, sick to my stomach, my legs and ankles are swollen, my eyes hurt and are puffy. I had a mammoth crying session all day yesterday. I have severe heartburn and gas that I have taken so many remedies for. LOL, I am just pathetic.I am tired as always. Bonus, my blood pressure is fine.
Oh gheeze, it is so sad getting older at times. Having kids destroys your body. Time, gravity and what you started with in the first place are major factors also. Then their is your lifestyle choices. Smoking, drinking drugs, all take a toll. You can add overeating, eating junk, exercise or lack of and work, plus stress. Your economic status plays a part as does reliable healthcare and insurance. Genetics, thanks Mom and Dad, and all your past ancestors. I have been feeling cursed, again. I'll say ugh again, and take another swig of my lemon/ginger tea with honey.
Yesterday I got the go ahead to schedule my hysterectomy. *sigh, Another effin surgery, I was so depressed, lonely and just completely unbearable, even to myself. Today, I got some things done and well, see above. I did get a nap. I see my ladies group tomorrow. I am very excited. My Canadian neighbor is coming down for a visit, which is always a special treat. I also have time planned to go see Mark in Utah with the kids. woo-hoo! I just wish I felt better, now.
I am doing better, mentally. I have read a few books and have managed to take small breaks from Facebook. My obsessions are always there, but the less I expose myself to them the better off I will be. It helps to be angry and crabby about it more than accepting and understanding at this point. That may change, but right now. I would love to say eff you and the horse you rode in on. It isn't how I feel totally, but it does give me some balance, perspective and distance. Hate is so much easier than love, especially when there is pain and hurt involved.
I'd rather get bitch-slapped in the face physically than relive some of the "verbal" smack downs I have received in my life. These always hurt worse from people you care about, the worse part is the ones you believe and haunt your self with. You know what I am saying.
I am not crazy. LOL
Monty Python... "we are not worthy" They make it a joke and we laugh, because somewhere underneath it all we really don't think we do deserve the good things or only a wee little bit.
ugh again.
No more Ughs? Stick them on a lower level and leave them there. If you are ugh-ing yourself, stop and give yourself a hug instead. Feels way better. LOL..thanks for listening as always. TTYL.
Oh gheeze, it is so sad getting older at times. Having kids destroys your body. Time, gravity and what you started with in the first place are major factors also. Then their is your lifestyle choices. Smoking, drinking drugs, all take a toll. You can add overeating, eating junk, exercise or lack of and work, plus stress. Your economic status plays a part as does reliable healthcare and insurance. Genetics, thanks Mom and Dad, and all your past ancestors. I have been feeling cursed, again. I'll say ugh again, and take another swig of my lemon/ginger tea with honey.
Yesterday I got the go ahead to schedule my hysterectomy. *sigh, Another effin surgery, I was so depressed, lonely and just completely unbearable, even to myself. Today, I got some things done and well, see above. I did get a nap. I see my ladies group tomorrow. I am very excited. My Canadian neighbor is coming down for a visit, which is always a special treat. I also have time planned to go see Mark in Utah with the kids. woo-hoo! I just wish I felt better, now.
I am doing better, mentally. I have read a few books and have managed to take small breaks from Facebook. My obsessions are always there, but the less I expose myself to them the better off I will be. It helps to be angry and crabby about it more than accepting and understanding at this point. That may change, but right now. I would love to say eff you and the horse you rode in on. It isn't how I feel totally, but it does give me some balance, perspective and distance. Hate is so much easier than love, especially when there is pain and hurt involved.
I'd rather get bitch-slapped in the face physically than relive some of the "verbal" smack downs I have received in my life. These always hurt worse from people you care about, the worse part is the ones you believe and haunt your self with. You know what I am saying.
I am not crazy. LOL
Monty Python... "we are not worthy" They make it a joke and we laugh, because somewhere underneath it all we really don't think we do deserve the good things or only a wee little bit.
ugh again.
"Give, but do not allow yourself to be used; Love, but do not allow your heart to be abused; Trust, but do not be naive; Listen to others, but do not lose yourself."
Nice advice, but not always possible. I don't know who owns this picture, but isn't it beautiful? It is something I think we are striving for.
No more Ughs? Stick them on a lower level and leave them there. If you are ugh-ing yourself, stop and give yourself a hug instead. Feels way better. LOL..thanks for listening as always. TTYL.
1 comment:
you are so right. The bad comments made in our lifetime we remember....the ones where we are told our good worth...forgotten...eAsier to remember the bad always......that's a line in pretty woman somewhere.....always one of my favorite....hugs Laura......has to get better....
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