Wow! I am in a mood. I am not even sure what to call it. I feel fine, some twinges from my scar. A few other things happening that I may talk about. All-and-all, though, I am feeling very good.
I guess I should talk about the things that have upset me first. I miss my mom-in-law already. She was awesome. Even though I am now taking back my spaces, *sigh. She was really good for Renee and Max both, my kids. They glowed talking with her. Even Jack the puppy has been down today.
I guess the other thing bothering me is that people think I am trying to become a saint or holy. Oh hell, no. Even with my mom-in-law it wasn't all happy times. I had a temper tantrum once, the kids had a few too. She called them spoiled brats, which they are. She was herself. We got really used to her though, very quickly. My hubby went back and forth. He loved the food, and having his mom to smoke and drink with. He enjoyed and sometimes resented being mothered, though. We will use the dishwasher tonight, she did them all by hand, daily. LOL.
Facebook today, had quite a few negative posts. I don't get those. If you don't like FB, stay off of it. Wow! My blog here, is optional...you don't have to read it. I am sincerely amazed that people do. Thank-you, I am trying to find my way to mental health. I think I am doing pretty good so far. I have had some ups-and -downs. I also have side tracks where I talk about what is going through my mind. I am an addict. There are different labels I have heard, from professionals to regular folks. I can list some of them if you would like. I'd really rather not though.
I talk to a therapist weekly. I am not always sure that it is helping me. I think back to where I was even six months ago. Wow! No, I have progressed. I have quit smoking, and just went through major surgery. I had a breakdown, you can call it mental or nervous or whatever. I am on prescription drugs for anxiety and depression. I am down to 1 pain med a day. I am just trying to figure out my life. I find that helping others helps me. I also talk too much. I can smile at this point.
I like hearing about other people's lives and how they face their big battles and little daily struggles also. I love to laugh, and joke. I also feel people's pain and suffering and do my best to help. I hear God in my own way and hope that other's find their own answers to that question. I hate fanatic's, stupidity, politics, and most sports.
I love music, art, food, and quite a few other things. I don't lie very often or try not to. I have stolen things and try not to. I can be amazingly brilliant and dumb as a rock. Can I throw out any more cliches? Whatever. I feel duality in just about everything I do. It is very annoying. I question why a lot. Why me? Why now? What the hell? I really can't stop this.
My hubby is home. This really drops my stress level like a stone. I rely on him. He relies on me. We have been together for quite a few years. We fight, we crab. We make out. It is one of my addictions. I am trying to keep this in check. It is what it is.
My girlfriend's grandfather just recently passed away. It wasn't unexpected. Her second grandma, his wife had already passed. I haven't seen either of them in many many years, but I am crying at their loss, now. They invited me into their home at three different times. They adopted me and treated me as family. They were both beautiful and shining souls. I am thankful that they are now out of physical pain. My love and prayers to their family.
I didn't expect to be so emotional.
I am writing this because I feel compelled to write. It may be one of my addictions, or mental fantasies. So be it. It may also be my stab at cheap therapy or my claim to fame. I am not sure where my next level or step is. Getting physically well, mentally fitter, and spiritually, hmm. I do need to work on so many things. Finding a job that pays would be surplus, bonus, dessert..
Thanks for listening, TTYAL.
I guess I should talk about the things that have upset me first. I miss my mom-in-law already. She was awesome. Even though I am now taking back my spaces, *sigh. She was really good for Renee and Max both, my kids. They glowed talking with her. Even Jack the puppy has been down today.
I guess the other thing bothering me is that people think I am trying to become a saint or holy. Oh hell, no. Even with my mom-in-law it wasn't all happy times. I had a temper tantrum once, the kids had a few too. She called them spoiled brats, which they are. She was herself. We got really used to her though, very quickly. My hubby went back and forth. He loved the food, and having his mom to smoke and drink with. He enjoyed and sometimes resented being mothered, though. We will use the dishwasher tonight, she did them all by hand, daily. LOL.
Facebook today, had quite a few negative posts. I don't get those. If you don't like FB, stay off of it. Wow! My blog here, is optional...you don't have to read it. I am sincerely amazed that people do. Thank-you, I am trying to find my way to mental health. I think I am doing pretty good so far. I have had some ups-and -downs. I also have side tracks where I talk about what is going through my mind. I am an addict. There are different labels I have heard, from professionals to regular folks. I can list some of them if you would like. I'd really rather not though.
I talk to a therapist weekly. I am not always sure that it is helping me. I think back to where I was even six months ago. Wow! No, I have progressed. I have quit smoking, and just went through major surgery. I had a breakdown, you can call it mental or nervous or whatever. I am on prescription drugs for anxiety and depression. I am down to 1 pain med a day. I am just trying to figure out my life. I find that helping others helps me. I also talk too much. I can smile at this point.
I like hearing about other people's lives and how they face their big battles and little daily struggles also. I love to laugh, and joke. I also feel people's pain and suffering and do my best to help. I hear God in my own way and hope that other's find their own answers to that question. I hate fanatic's, stupidity, politics, and most sports.
I love music, art, food, and quite a few other things. I don't lie very often or try not to. I have stolen things and try not to. I can be amazingly brilliant and dumb as a rock. Can I throw out any more cliches? Whatever. I feel duality in just about everything I do. It is very annoying. I question why a lot. Why me? Why now? What the hell? I really can't stop this.
My hubby is home. This really drops my stress level like a stone. I rely on him. He relies on me. We have been together for quite a few years. We fight, we crab. We make out. It is one of my addictions. I am trying to keep this in check. It is what it is.
My girlfriend's grandfather just recently passed away. It wasn't unexpected. Her second grandma, his wife had already passed. I haven't seen either of them in many many years, but I am crying at their loss, now. They invited me into their home at three different times. They adopted me and treated me as family. They were both beautiful and shining souls. I am thankful that they are now out of physical pain. My love and prayers to their family.
I didn't expect to be so emotional.
I am writing this because I feel compelled to write. It may be one of my addictions, or mental fantasies. So be it. It may also be my stab at cheap therapy or my claim to fame. I am not sure where my next level or step is. Getting physically well, mentally fitter, and spiritually, hmm. I do need to work on so many things. Finding a job that pays would be surplus, bonus, dessert..
Thanks for listening, TTYAL.
My quote for the day: While we are sleeping, angels have conversations with our souls. ~Author Unknown
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