Today is the day I have to start living again. I am done waiting for answers that sometimes help and give clarity. I lately seem to be getting the messages that just make me more confused.This is not the first time.
I took Honors Geometry back in good old LWHS back in Sophmore year. We started with a month of logic, followed by a month or so of doing proofs. I remember walking around in a daze...with crazy headaches. I also failed every quiz, and had close to failing grades on my tests. It was a nightmare. I had never had anything close to failing grades, and even though I tried to study even harder, it wasn't working. I always felt the teacher was very disappointed in me. My sister had been one of his "star" pupils. At one point he did say that with this subject, people needed "down" time to process it in their brains. Aaah!
I did pass the class, disliked the teacher forever after and have never done a proof since. I am going through "down" time now trying to make sense of all the informational, spiritual, and emotional "crap" from these past couple of months. My therapist? Sadly, I told you all I couldn't afford to be crazy. Too true. I cancelled this weeks appointment and will cancel all the rest soon. I can't even say good-bye except over the phone. At a $175 a week, a $400 deductible that I have already met...and a repayment of only 60% that is not being reimbursed yet. Um, no.
I am going to talk to Renee's therapist today. He is in network, and my husbands company offers 5 free visits as a starter before the insurance kicks in. It is a $200 deductible, with an 80% coverage..since we will be paying for 2 of us at $175 each..sigh. Crazy, huh? Somebody else can do the math, but I need a job.
They are building a Denny's close by..I will apply and hope that I not only get the job and hours I need, but that my body will take the strain. Why Denny's again? Without a degree in anything, and owing mas
sive amounts of student loans, it is the only job where I can earn more than minimum wage and keep it. Plus, I do have experience.LOlOl.
So "down" time for my psyche and action for the rest of me. Trying to stay off the emotional merry-go-round, and moving forward, not spinning my wheels. Lord, I could use some laughs and good news.
that was my new level. For any of my reader's, yeah, find some fun and share it..get out of your normal rut and pull somebody with you.
TTYAL..Have a great St. Patrick's Day or just a regular wondrous day.
I took Honors Geometry back in good old LWHS back in Sophmore year. We started with a month of logic, followed by a month or so of doing proofs. I remember walking around in a daze...with crazy headaches. I also failed every quiz, and had close to failing grades on my tests. It was a nightmare. I had never had anything close to failing grades, and even though I tried to study even harder, it wasn't working. I always felt the teacher was very disappointed in me. My sister had been one of his "star" pupils. At one point he did say that with this subject, people needed "down" time to process it in their brains. Aaah!
I did pass the class, disliked the teacher forever after and have never done a proof since. I am going through "down" time now trying to make sense of all the informational, spiritual, and emotional "crap" from these past couple of months. My therapist? Sadly, I told you all I couldn't afford to be crazy. Too true. I cancelled this weeks appointment and will cancel all the rest soon. I can't even say good-bye except over the phone. At a $175 a week, a $400 deductible that I have already met...and a repayment of only 60% that is not being reimbursed yet. Um, no.
I am going to talk to Renee's therapist today. He is in network, and my husbands company offers 5 free visits as a starter before the insurance kicks in. It is a $200 deductible, with an 80% coverage..since we will be paying for 2 of us at $175 each..sigh. Crazy, huh? Somebody else can do the math, but I need a job.
They are building a Denny's close by..I will apply and hope that I not only get the job and hours I need, but that my body will take the strain. Why Denny's again? Without a degree in anything, and owing mas
sive amounts of student loans, it is the only job where I can earn more than minimum wage and keep it. Plus, I do have experience.LOlOl.
So "down" time for my psyche and action for the rest of me. Trying to stay off the emotional merry-go-round, and moving forward, not spinning my wheels. Lord, I could use some laughs and good news.
that was my new level. For any of my reader's, yeah, find some fun and share it..get out of your normal rut and pull somebody with you.
I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
And you help somebody every chance you get
...Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
TTYAL..Have a great St. Patrick's Day or just a regular wondrous day.
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