I should be in bed asleep. I am tired, but I can't give in to it yet. I didn't take my sleepy pill either. I am dying for a glass of water , a cup of coffee. I would even appreciate a smoke. LOL, I am still clean and smoke-free..I can admit I loved to smoke. I miss it. But, I don't HAVE to anymore. Also knowing if I went and choked one down, that I would justify smoking more. No thanks.
My kids started school this week, it has gone very smoothly so far. This will not last. That isn't being pessimistic, that's reality. It has been very strange having my hubby here. Sweet, but just a bit confusing. My girlfriend is another element of helpful. She cheers me up just by being herself. She thinks my kids are brats. They do have their moments. LOL, she hasn't seen their good sides yet, really.
I am sleep-typing. Which is probably a pretty scary thing. I have my surgery, my third spigelian hernia repair, today..blah. I can't believe that drinking a bit of water is going to kill me here. But, sigh. I am so trying to behave. I am going to go upstairs soon and wash with their special soap. Then put on my freshly laundered outfit, and actually be ready to go. I wish I could take my lap-top with me. It would be cool to talk with my fb friends, blog or solitaire until it was time. But no.
I have so many things on my mind. My heart goes out to two of my nieces and that side of the family as both of them miscarried. Logically, I can understand how this happens. The amazing part is how well the entire miracle of birth really works, usually. Emotionally and spiritually now, it feels so raw and wrong, I hurt for their loss. It feels as if a part of my soul got torn away.
My daughter and son both got really emotional tonight. I realize that I complain endlessly about my kids, but I am still so amazed I have them. They trip me out. I don't think anyone can love them the same way that I can. Which is true but also silly, other people love and cherish them also. But, I'm their mom. Always. I can never explain that rush of emotion, it just is. You just have it, know it and feel it.
I'll be okay.
God has some purpose for me and I know it isn't finished yet. It has barely started. So, I am not going to die. I am just going to be in pain and crabby for awhile. Or loopy, I hate/love pain meds. I am such a strange addict. ok, upstairs for awhile..this couch is too comfy. My favorite part will be waking up and being well enough to have my first cup of coffee. I hope you are reading this girlfriend.
TTYAL, and thanks for listening.
My quote for the week was
My kids started school this week, it has gone very smoothly so far. This will not last. That isn't being pessimistic, that's reality. It has been very strange having my hubby here. Sweet, but just a bit confusing. My girlfriend is another element of helpful. She cheers me up just by being herself. She thinks my kids are brats. They do have their moments. LOL, she hasn't seen their good sides yet, really.
I am sleep-typing. Which is probably a pretty scary thing. I have my surgery, my third spigelian hernia repair, today..blah. I can't believe that drinking a bit of water is going to kill me here. But, sigh. I am so trying to behave. I am going to go upstairs soon and wash with their special soap. Then put on my freshly laundered outfit, and actually be ready to go. I wish I could take my lap-top with me. It would be cool to talk with my fb friends, blog or solitaire until it was time. But no.
I have so many things on my mind. My heart goes out to two of my nieces and that side of the family as both of them miscarried. Logically, I can understand how this happens. The amazing part is how well the entire miracle of birth really works, usually. Emotionally and spiritually now, it feels so raw and wrong, I hurt for their loss. It feels as if a part of my soul got torn away.
My daughter and son both got really emotional tonight. I realize that I complain endlessly about my kids, but I am still so amazed I have them. They trip me out. I don't think anyone can love them the same way that I can. Which is true but also silly, other people love and cherish them also. But, I'm their mom. Always. I can never explain that rush of emotion, it just is. You just have it, know it and feel it.
I'll be okay.
God has some purpose for me and I know it isn't finished yet. It has barely started. So, I am not going to die. I am just going to be in pain and crabby for awhile. Or loopy, I hate/love pain meds. I am such a strange addict. ok, upstairs for awhile..this couch is too comfy. My favorite part will be waking up and being well enough to have my first cup of coffee. I hope you are reading this girlfriend.
TTYAL, and thanks for listening.
My quote for the week was
The first principle of self-love is that you are not for sale. - Yogi Bhajan Because you/me are beyond price.
