I suppose I should be writing, and I have felt the urge. So why haven't I? I could give you a whole boatload of excuses but, honestly? I really don't know.
I am a little confused on where I am lately. No, not location, but on my mind journey here. I think the anti-depressants cloud things up some times. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Which is keeping me out of the muck. I just feel dizzy and out-of-it at times.
I look back, especially at some of my past obsessions. I find them just simply embarrassing. I try not to dwell on it. I know I am not perfect, but wow. O-kay. I was really out of it there for a while. Yikes!
Today, I am tired again, and dizzy, dizzy, dizzy. I am still doing my hot/cold thing and my vision is full with black floaties, as always. I have eaten too much already, and the wrong things. I feel bloated, nauseous, and my tongue hurts again. At least I am not tasting blood, or having heartburn/acid. Everything else is as usual, pain in my knee, shoulder, neck, hands, hernias, feet..falling apart. LOL.
I am going to take a nap.
I am lonely and don't want to be. I am trying to not dwell on the negatives and flip-flop it into the humorous side, but I am not getting there yet. I am on the edge of it. It is just so ridiculous. Whine. Enough already! I have no idea when my hubby is going to be home. I am not even sure if he really wants to be home. That is the thought that hurts.
I am not stalking anyone any more. I find it not only shameful for me, but not very rewarding. I guess I picked the wrong people to haunt. They didn't make me feel better and I didn't help them at all either. My level has hit the basement today. I am okay and will perk up. I just ..
I don't know. Now I understand why I stopped writing, this is too sad. I don't want to show this side to people. I don't even want to face it in myself.
I am in the winter of my soul, and while I have blanketed myself with layers of protection I find it cold and barren. I know that underneath it all the hope of Spring will come forth. Seeds, warm sun and fierce winds that will wake me up, render me anew. Even here in my desert, there is a change. I am looking for the courage to embrace it. I no longer am just satisfied with surviving, I wish to succeed.
Tomorrow is another day, and the day is not finished. Thanks for listening as always. TTYL. If I get motivated, the dog will get a bath, flea treatment and his new collar. I will post a picture.
Love you all, hope you are having a better day than me.For all my friends facing major physical, mental and emotional challenges, I pray. You all inspire me to do better. For all my friends just out having a good time, more power to you. Enjoy. For those who have mostly given up, there is always hope. There is too many people in this world to be alone. I am sad and mad at myself for not connecting as much as I should. I am human, though and I err. I will hug my kids today, and give them both a kiss. They will protest, but will also be happy. Thanks.
I am a little confused on where I am lately. No, not location, but on my mind journey here. I think the anti-depressants cloud things up some times. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Which is keeping me out of the muck. I just feel dizzy and out-of-it at times.
I look back, especially at some of my past obsessions. I find them just simply embarrassing. I try not to dwell on it. I know I am not perfect, but wow. O-kay. I was really out of it there for a while. Yikes!
Today, I am tired again, and dizzy, dizzy, dizzy. I am still doing my hot/cold thing and my vision is full with black floaties, as always. I have eaten too much already, and the wrong things. I feel bloated, nauseous, and my tongue hurts again. At least I am not tasting blood, or having heartburn/acid. Everything else is as usual, pain in my knee, shoulder, neck, hands, hernias, feet..falling apart. LOL.
I am going to take a nap.
I am lonely and don't want to be. I am trying to not dwell on the negatives and flip-flop it into the humorous side, but I am not getting there yet. I am on the edge of it. It is just so ridiculous. Whine. Enough already! I have no idea when my hubby is going to be home. I am not even sure if he really wants to be home. That is the thought that hurts.
I am not stalking anyone any more. I find it not only shameful for me, but not very rewarding. I guess I picked the wrong people to haunt. They didn't make me feel better and I didn't help them at all either. My level has hit the basement today. I am okay and will perk up. I just ..
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| LOLOL |
I am in the winter of my soul, and while I have blanketed myself with layers of protection I find it cold and barren. I know that underneath it all the hope of Spring will come forth. Seeds, warm sun and fierce winds that will wake me up, render me anew. Even here in my desert, there is a change. I am looking for the courage to embrace it. I no longer am just satisfied with surviving, I wish to succeed.
Tomorrow is another day, and the day is not finished. Thanks for listening as always. TTYL. If I get motivated, the dog will get a bath, flea treatment and his new collar. I will post a picture.
Love you all, hope you are having a better day than me.For all my friends facing major physical, mental and emotional challenges, I pray. You all inspire me to do better. For all my friends just out having a good time, more power to you. Enjoy. For those who have mostly given up, there is always hope. There is too many people in this world to be alone. I am sad and mad at myself for not connecting as much as I should. I am human, though and I err. I will hug my kids today, and give them both a kiss. They will protest, but will also be happy. Thanks.
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| computer art |
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