Today has been a day in frustration...so not good. I woke up too early, with a headache and a crazy jumpy puppy. Instead of cleaning up the small kitchen mess from last night, went to Face Book. I am an addict..and I am starting to hate it. The fact that I am addicted irks me. I have to say I don't hate any of my friends. Quite the opposite, I really love/like the ones I know. Too much? No, I don't think so..but then I am not always sane either. Shazbot!
Got my son off to school, showered, grumpy but with a better than his usual breakfast. He doesn't want to go to school much anymore, especially on Mondays. My daughter who was sick yesterday, finally got showered and dressed, and took her temperature..back to sub-normal. She looked okay, complained about not wanting to go and disappeared. She never ever wants to go to school, ever. I warned her she needed to leave to catch the bus, and we got into a fight. She hates school and is doing very poorly at it. She claimed she was still sick, which I disagreed with. When I insisted she had to go, she left..slamming door mad.
I was supposed to be making doctor appointments and checking insurance payments. Did get the dentist snafu straightened out and then couldn't find any of the papers I needed. Panic mode..still no after tearing up the whole house, so what do I do?
I had a slight panic knowing she wasn't home, but knew..she was still at the bus stop. A doorbell ring later and a really nice guy has my daughter at the door. Oh! Renee..she had missed the bus again and was very unsure as to what she should do..for 3 hours. We hugged and I sent her to bed, her fever was back again and then called the school. A child with Asperger's doesn't always think straight, and it scares me. Not even so much that she waited so long at the bus stop, but that it was "okay" to get in a strange man's car..the bus stop is only around the corner. We will have a talk about it tomorrow. Of course, my son is furious that she got to stay home. The joys of raising kids!
Being a parent? I was never given the rulebook, or manual, they didn't come with directions. My own childhood experiences? Um. no. hell no. It has been the hardest and best thing I have ever done, being a mom. I screw it up pretty much daily..and also redeem myself too, sometimes. My son played his bells, for me, he is really doing well since switching to percussion. Renee played her original song for me at one point, it is so hauntingly beautiful..she keeps adding stuff. My crazy daughter plays by ear and has had her electric piano for 2 months..I am so going to tape her soon. She hasn't given me permission yet. She works on this daily, and was frustrated that she doesn't have a new song yet.
The next level? That I took a gigantic step today, by blocking an obsession that has been plaguing me. What a release of so much pressure, knowing in my heart that it is the right thing to do. Loving my daughter, son, husband and crazy puppy. I chased him around tonight for about 20 minutes. It is hysterical. The puppy, not the husband...lolol. He is still working in another state for 2 more days.
Time tomorrow for some of the things I didn't get done today..timers for FB again..it is an outer control for when you don't have internal control..sort of like an alcoholic pouring out his booze. I will gain control..have before, and can do it again. It takes work and persistence and love and laughter of what is important to me. Thanks for listening..TTYAL
Got my son off to school, showered, grumpy but with a better than his usual breakfast. He doesn't want to go to school much anymore, especially on Mondays. My daughter who was sick yesterday, finally got showered and dressed, and took her temperature..back to sub-normal. She looked okay, complained about not wanting to go and disappeared. She never ever wants to go to school, ever. I warned her she needed to leave to catch the bus, and we got into a fight. She hates school and is doing very poorly at it. She claimed she was still sick, which I disagreed with. When I insisted she had to go, she left..slamming door mad.
I was supposed to be making doctor appointments and checking insurance payments. Did get the dentist snafu straightened out and then couldn't find any of the papers I needed. Panic mode..still no after tearing up the whole house, so what do I do?
I face-booked, but of course! (see addict) I have said before that it is impossible to explain FB to someone who doesn't do it. I resolved a major ongoing issue I have had with the help of a great friend. I e-mailed some of my goals and frustrations to another friend, said Happy B-day, played music, got some inspiration, and art, plus an economic update..checked in with some other friends to see how they are doing, more stuff and then..got a call from the school. My daughter hadn't shown up for school..really? (*sigh)
I had a slight panic knowing she wasn't home, but knew..she was still at the bus stop. A doorbell ring later and a really nice guy has my daughter at the door. Oh! Renee..she had missed the bus again and was very unsure as to what she should do..for 3 hours. We hugged and I sent her to bed, her fever was back again and then called the school. A child with Asperger's doesn't always think straight, and it scares me. Not even so much that she waited so long at the bus stop, but that it was "okay" to get in a strange man's car..the bus stop is only around the corner. We will have a talk about it tomorrow. Of course, my son is furious that she got to stay home. The joys of raising kids!
Being a parent? I was never given the rulebook, or manual, they didn't come with directions. My own childhood experiences? Um. no. hell no. It has been the hardest and best thing I have ever done, being a mom. I screw it up pretty much daily..and also redeem myself too, sometimes. My son played his bells, for me, he is really doing well since switching to percussion. Renee played her original song for me at one point, it is so hauntingly beautiful..she keeps adding stuff. My crazy daughter plays by ear and has had her electric piano for 2 months..I am so going to tape her soon. She hasn't given me permission yet. She works on this daily, and was frustrated that she doesn't have a new song yet.
The next level? That I took a gigantic step today, by blocking an obsession that has been plaguing me. What a release of so much pressure, knowing in my heart that it is the right thing to do. Loving my daughter, son, husband and crazy puppy. I chased him around tonight for about 20 minutes. It is hysterical. The puppy, not the husband...lolol. He is still working in another state for 2 more days.
Time tomorrow for some of the things I didn't get done today..timers for FB again..it is an outer control for when you don't have internal control..sort of like an alcoholic pouring out his booze. I will gain control..have before, and can do it again. It takes work and persistence and love and laughter of what is important to me. Thanks for listening..TTYAL
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