more puppy love..

I can say without a doubt that I dread writing this. A post from a friend, never heard the song, but I love these lyrics.

Midway on our life's journey, I found myself in dark woods.
The right road lost.
To tell about those woods is hard, so tangled and rough
And savage that thinking of it now, I feel the old fear stirring.

 Alkaline Trio songs. It comes from Dante's Divine Comedy.

There is a term in psychology, "learned helplessness" where they did mean experiments to dogs where they were shocked, no matter what they did. The dogs even after the shocks were gone, couldn't function properly..they had been trained to fear. This was used as a basis for a lot of human therapy for many years. They have proved now that a certain small percentage can get past the conditioning and move on. There is no way to tell who or which one will succeed, or if they will. I have hopes.

If you beat a dog on a regular basis, it learns fear, which can turn into terror or hatred. If you beat a dog some days and praise/love it on others it learns fear and confusion. The poor dog doesn't know how to react. This applies to humans as well. It is used as a tactic in human psychology as well, think of POW's. I sigh here..this all makes me so sad. Thttp://www.facebook.com/StarOurHope this link makes me sadder.

The people who did this to this poor dog were not only morons, but torturers..beyond sick in the head. It is even sadder that there are more out there.

This is Jack, my current black puppy. He is a shelter dog, a Chihuahua/ Manchester terrier mix. He was a birthday present for my daughter. For 30 dollars we got him at 3 months old, neutered and with shots, with a follow-up appointment. He had kennel cough at first and was so sick. I spent a lot of nights in the bathroom with him, running the shower so he could breathe. He was so scared..and smelled awful. He got better and woke up, he's nuts.

 It got really bad for awhile..he figured out house -training fairly easily. He chewed and still chews everything and he jumps, over 3 feet high and climbs onto chairs and counters. The trainer I talked to knew how hyper he can be. He is what is called passive/aggressive. He is afraid of just about everything, and doesn't cower but attacks it. He takes calming tablets now, which help and has 2 wake periods, in the morning and at night about dinner time. He can go insane. He can walk/heel on a leash and sit for a few and leap on command. He also will come when called, usually. We are working on him not attacking people and playing nice. In sleepy mode, he cuddles.. usually in my lap. The rest of the time he is in leap/jump/run in crazy circle mode..super-high energy and he digs. He is a major challenge, but we love him.. but, he still stinks. He has problems with his anal glands and eats his own poo. *sigh.

Tippy was our last family dog, and survived it all. He was the happiest dog, went bike-riding with us everywhere, put up with us trying to teach him tricks or dress him up. He wasn't fixed either and would disappear and then come home. My dad was more mellow by that time. Tippy hated anyone who wasn't family. The only part that drove me crazy was that he always peed on my stuff. I found out many years later that he thought of me as his pack sister, and that I ranked below him. It was considered a sign of affection. I still feel bad for the teacher that got that report on yellow paper. I didn't have time to re-write it, I still am happy I got an A on it. Tippy had a special bark for everyone, except me..he never gave me up on any of my nighttime excursions. It made my mom furious. He was such a good dog. When my life was complete and total hell, I could hold him and knew he loved me, no matter what. I had to leave him behind when I left, he died at the age of 17 or 18 on the front porch of old age in his sleep. I wish I could have said good-bye.

There was another black puppy named Alma before Tippy. He got scared and confused. He was so afraid of my dad that eventually would start peeing anytime my dad called him. Which got him in more trouble, so he started running away a lot. He wasn't fixed and could find a dog in heat anywhere. They picked him up 40 miles away from home one time. The fines were already getting bad and then he bit a girl. She stuck her hand in between her dog and him fighting. He wasn't current on his shots, more fines and trouble. Then he got the chief-of police's dog pregnant.  My dad and mom decided enough was enough, my dad took him out to the garage and killed him with a a blow to the head with a hammer. I still remember hearing the yelp. I found out recently that my brother had to clean the hammer. I am so sorry, bro. Mom, Dad..I know where the bones are..did you think we could so easily forget?



I tell people please adopt a dog from a shelter, they are overflowing and need help. They have to kill so many dogs and cats every year, because people won't get their animals fixed, and don't fulfill their commitment to their pets. We can do so much better. I hope, I pray and God forgive me for hating those who are too dumb, or evil, or lazy or whatever.

Thanks for listening, Good night and God bless all the dogs, cats and pets out there. TTYAL

and they call it puppy love..

I have been writing this blog on-and-off in different ways since I first started this. I am going to warn anybody who might be reading this that this will contain content that will horrify you or should. This is a fair warning, the only reason I am finally strong enough to write this is because of my friends and family. They, for all different reasons, ease my nightmares, bring me joy and help me maintain my balance. Thank you.

If you haven't read my blog about my vision of dog heaven..it is God is Dog spelled backwards.

The title above is from Donny Osmond. He was the teen idol of his time, you were for him or Michael Jackson. Being raised a Mormon, there wasn't any real choice. He ruled. He is still hot, and Michael...oh gheeze, what a mess that all was. Fame so doesn't bring you happiness...though you think it would.

My earliest memories were of dogs, Skylos and Boots to be specific. When I say earliest, I was 2 or 3 years old. I laugh here because there was a time, as a teen our family was discussing old memories. I kept insisting that both dogs were HUGE. They were as tall as the table, I kept saying. My brother's were laughing saying they were only medium-size dogs at best. My dad was in a positive mood that night and realized something in that oh-my-gosh moment. He asked me how big the table was? I replied, Well, that was over my head too..I can remember walking under it. Both dogs were bigger than me. LOL. My brother's were stunned..we forgot how little you were.

Skylos got very sick, he was a mutt of maybe a collie type dog. I remember he had this large tumor growing out of the side of his neck. He was in the kitchen in the doorway and I was trying to get past him. He was growling and wouldn't let me through. It was the first time I was ever scared of him, he kept advancing and being menacing and and.. my brother Greg came from somewhere and saved me.

Not too long later their was a discussion between my dad and the landlord. I am not sure but I think the dog was his. They took a walk out in the orchard looking very grim. My dad came back shaking and in almost tears. He couldn't do it, meaning the landlord. My dad shot Skylos and they both buried him. I wasn't very upset at the time and still am not. Skylos, of course, went to heaven. Before people get crazy, this was another country and another time. Dogs weren't taken to vet's or money spent on them. It was his time, you put them down as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Snoopy was our beagle, of course..we named him from the comics and when he showed up, huh, he was tan and fluffy.  My mom shook her head and said that is not a beagle. He was the cutest dog ever.   He got his own box with blankets and a ticking alarm clock. My mom fed him milk and bread until the day he ate a whole steak that had been thawing for dinner, wrappings and all.

Snoopy, and here I cry..still.*sigh, was the first dog beating I witnessed. He bit my dad and was beat severely over and over, we were all crying and pleading. There was blood, screaming, growling and yipping. Snoopy survived that. He never bit my dad or anyone else that I knew of ever again. It did change us all forever. When we moved, I never saw him again. I had heard that Boots or Snoopy got hit by a car. Oh lord.

When we moved to the states there was Alma, a medium-sized black mutt dog and then after him came Tippy, a medium-sized black, white and brown mutt with a white tip on his tail. We watched two dogs for different cousin's for a week or so. Snuffy was a mini-toy poodle, and Brownie, a long haired medium-sized light tan colored dog. I loved them all and watched them all get beat, some worse than others. None was as bad as Snoopy, but it wasn't a good thing ever. We all learned not to intervene or plead, or even cry..we froze and tried to bring as little attention to ourselves as possible. It was called survival. I, when I could, would sneak them away and hide and cuddle with them.

I'm taking a pause here. Whew! I am not telling you this story for your sympathy, this was my reality. For some reason, we, my sibs and me, or I could never talk about it. I like my therapist's words on this..you will get to a point when you can tell your stories without fear. The "shame" will go back to where it belongs. Thank you and yes, and you will feel at peace inside. I am getting there slowly, one piece/peace at a time. Scary though, the first time I told the next part of the story. I wasn't ready and my mind flew apart. LOL, it is coming back together, stronger and better than it ever has before. Mental health isn't a joke, though I do make fun of it, constantly. "I laugh, because I have cried".

I am going to have to make this a two-fer, sorry. I will finish it soon..mostly because it is really late right now. I have been sleeping very well lately, and don't want to mess that up. thanks for listening as always..in the words of Bob Barker..spade or neuter your pets, please. Thanks. TTYAL

LOLOL.