I have been doing a daily gratitude post on Facebook. It started out very simple but is beginning to be more difficult now. I have a tendency to add qualifications. I am thankful for this, but ..lol. It has made me open my eyes and really look at things. I think most of us can use that advice.
Mother's day was last Sunday. I still miss working it in a restaurant. It was a crazy fun busy day. So many families, sometimes it was just the dad alone with the kids. The dad would be sheepish and say "my wife's present is that she wanted some time alone." I always thought that was sweet.
I don't think of myself as a good mom. I don't think of myself as a bad mom either. I have my days and moments. I have been parenting my kids since they were born, and mostly by myself. My husband has been on some form of travel in the field for about the last ten years. The past four years have been the worse. I tell people I am a single mother, that just happens to be married. Divorced couples see their ex-spouses more than I see mine. I can boo-hoo about this some more.
The sad part is I don't get support from other moms. The married ones have their husbands and friends. The single ones have their friends and family. I am glad I made some friends. I did have to pay sitters. My kids were a challenge. You never quite knew what Renee was going to do or not do. Funny, I still don't. Max liked a lot of interaction, which some sitters enjoyed and others didn't.
With my whacky schedule it was hard to socialize and see the friends I had. I worked every Saturday and Sunday with only a few days off here and there for over ten years. Before that I was on third shift, and none of my friends outside of work were.
Being a parent, I had a choice to walk away from it all, but I didn't. There was times I was tempted. I still am. It gets to be a lot. I only have two kids. I knew other moms that had more and were less frazzled than me. I observed as I always do. I had friends that were very lenient with their kids and others that were very strict. I learned something from everyone.
Advice from any people without kids is very well-meaning and really not usually very helpful, I don't care how many degrees you have in child psychology or what you remember as a kid. That includes all those self-help books also. Advice from other parents is great as long as they realize every kid is different. My kid is not going to react the same as yours. My two kids don't even react the same way. Advice from people whose kids have grown and gone is not always applicable now. The world is a very different place then it was even twenty years ago.
Where am I going with this? Being a parent is a constant, continuing process. I have learned so much from my kids. I have to say more good than bad, but there are moments. When your two-year old decides that every night is a poopy-smearing art festival. When your toddler head butts you so hard in the jaw again, that you get a fat lip or your teeth bleed. When you see your child perform for the first time and every time after. When they hug you and tell you they love you, or scream that they hate you and slam the door. LOL, the joys and the pain.
I am still trying to get excited about our upcoming move. It hasn't happened yet. Nope. Anytime I try to focus on it and start to get organized it starts to slip away from me. I have different thoughts go through my head, mostly about how we are going to get there and what I should be packing and getting rid of. That's about it.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow about my headaches and to get a refill on one of my prescriptions. I will probably do a blood check as well. I am staying in my zen mode. I try not to get over or under-excited by doctor visits anymore. I am just going to be as mellow and uncynical as I can be. Whew! I'll try to remember my breathing and remember to be nice. "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."
My levels have been to keep going, to not stop trying. I am worth it and so is everyone else. I am thankful today to be "me" and grateful for my past and all that I am and my future that is before me. Tonight the little sparrows that are nesting in the roofs made me smile. I can hear the baby chicks, they are loud when mom brings them some food. Life goes on with or without you, I'd rather be with it.
Thanks for listening as always. TTYAL, this goes out to the ones I love. I own no rights to this song or lyrics.
Mother's day was last Sunday. I still miss working it in a restaurant. It was a crazy fun busy day. So many families, sometimes it was just the dad alone with the kids. The dad would be sheepish and say "my wife's present is that she wanted some time alone." I always thought that was sweet.
I don't think of myself as a good mom. I don't think of myself as a bad mom either. I have my days and moments. I have been parenting my kids since they were born, and mostly by myself. My husband has been on some form of travel in the field for about the last ten years. The past four years have been the worse. I tell people I am a single mother, that just happens to be married. Divorced couples see their ex-spouses more than I see mine. I can boo-hoo about this some more.
The sad part is I don't get support from other moms. The married ones have their husbands and friends. The single ones have their friends and family. I am glad I made some friends. I did have to pay sitters. My kids were a challenge. You never quite knew what Renee was going to do or not do. Funny, I still don't. Max liked a lot of interaction, which some sitters enjoyed and others didn't.
With my whacky schedule it was hard to socialize and see the friends I had. I worked every Saturday and Sunday with only a few days off here and there for over ten years. Before that I was on third shift, and none of my friends outside of work were.
Being a parent, I had a choice to walk away from it all, but I didn't. There was times I was tempted. I still am. It gets to be a lot. I only have two kids. I knew other moms that had more and were less frazzled than me. I observed as I always do. I had friends that were very lenient with their kids and others that were very strict. I learned something from everyone.
Advice from any people without kids is very well-meaning and really not usually very helpful, I don't care how many degrees you have in child psychology or what you remember as a kid. That includes all those self-help books also. Advice from other parents is great as long as they realize every kid is different. My kid is not going to react the same as yours. My two kids don't even react the same way. Advice from people whose kids have grown and gone is not always applicable now. The world is a very different place then it was even twenty years ago.
Where am I going with this? Being a parent is a constant, continuing process. I have learned so much from my kids. I have to say more good than bad, but there are moments. When your two-year old decides that every night is a poopy-smearing art festival. When your toddler head butts you so hard in the jaw again, that you get a fat lip or your teeth bleed. When you see your child perform for the first time and every time after. When they hug you and tell you they love you, or scream that they hate you and slam the door. LOL, the joys and the pain.
I am still trying to get excited about our upcoming move. It hasn't happened yet. Nope. Anytime I try to focus on it and start to get organized it starts to slip away from me. I have different thoughts go through my head, mostly about how we are going to get there and what I should be packing and getting rid of. That's about it.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow about my headaches and to get a refill on one of my prescriptions. I will probably do a blood check as well. I am staying in my zen mode. I try not to get over or under-excited by doctor visits anymore. I am just going to be as mellow and uncynical as I can be. Whew! I'll try to remember my breathing and remember to be nice. "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."
My levels have been to keep going, to not stop trying. I am worth it and so is everyone else. I am thankful today to be "me" and grateful for my past and all that I am and my future that is before me. Tonight the little sparrows that are nesting in the roofs made me smile. I can hear the baby chicks, they are loud when mom brings them some food. Life goes on with or without you, I'd rather be with it.
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