Yawn! I am so tired.

I  have slept. It has been around the clock for the most part, I am so tired. Why? I have no idea. I am too tired to really think about it either. When I try to concentrate on anything I start getting my headache back. Ugh.

I have taken a few meds, not very many and nothing strong either. I am already on too many prescription drugs. My diet has been totally sabotaged, by me. I have been eating/craving high carbohydrates and sugars, bread, marshmallows, granola bars, iced oatmeal cookies, and soda. This is getting me sugar "high" for a little bit and then I crash again.

The dog is loving this as he sleeps on me. He has been missing our cuddle time on the couch. Since we moved, I use my computer at the kitchen table. This has helped straighten out my posture and alleviated the strain on my shoulder and knee. I haven't been to physical therapy in months and I still feel great with that. Jack the puppy isn't as happy.

It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I actually get. I am hoping this cycle ends very soon. I am tired of it already. Yes, that was meant to be funny. My husband hasn't complained yet, but the kids are very worried. I'll be okay, it just has to play through, I think.

The kids will be starting school the week after next. I didn't want to put my daughter back into a regular  public school, but I am out of options. The one bonus is my son will be in the same school, so he can tell me what really happens. Hopefully.

I am terrible about calling people, but I have tried for my daughter's sake. Not very many people know what Asperger's is and even fewer are willing or able to work with it. The hard part is my daughter looks completely normal. Her clothes may be a little weird and her face is broken out but, she looks like a typical teen-ager. So when she talks or does some of her different mannerisms, it tends to trip people out. They don't know how to react to her and she can't help them either. It is all very awkward.

I am still smoke-free though it is harder when you live with a smoker. He smokes outside and not in the car, but it is difficult. I still have cravings. I have to talk myself out of them. I still refuse to buy him any. It makes it too easy for me to add my own brand. My kids would be crushed if I did. Which helps me, but isn't the reason I quit. I quit because it was doing me more harm than good. What I was getting out of it was mostly all psychological. I can do better without.

It is nice to breathe again. No coughing or wheezing, and no odors.. I have also lost that sense of panic. Where are my smokes?, Where is my lighter?, Whataya mean I can't smoke here?, etc. It is all gone, poof! I find that part of it so relaxing, the fact that it is saving me a small fortune is just extra-sweet.

If my energy level continues at this rate I will see a doctor or something. I really don't think it is that serious, yet. I just have to take my time and work through it the best way I can. We all have our highs and lows. Mine were always a bit more dramatic. I am thankful that I am finally mellowing out. Maturity? At my age. Oh my! LOL.

I have mentioned before that with addiction, the theory is that you go back to the age you started. For me and cigarettes we are talking back to 13-14 years old and resolving the emotional debris I didn't face at the time. The nice part now is the hormones are way more balanced.  I, also, have years of being myself and can look back and say this is really silly or  totally whacked. And then move forward...

This was me in my early 20's, I was still overweight but would love to get back to that , my daughter says I look like a "nerd" 

Thanks for listening, I am going back to bed. I may just be making up for the insomnia I had for the last five or so years. Y-A-W-N. I hope you all have a great week and learn something new every day. TTYAL.