Go Team! Whichever One Wins?

The Packer's won the Super Bowl, I suppose I should be excited, I kind of am, but not really. I am happy for all my friends who are Packer fans..especially my son. He's 11 and was born and raised in WI...he was worried at one point in the game. His comment, "Mom, I won't be able to go to school tomorrow if the Packer's lose." I found that amusing. He has also told me that he won't go to school if the the outside temp drops below 40 degrees. They cancel outside recess if it does. This I also find amusing and exasperating as he went to school and recess with sub-zero temps in WI. I pointed out that maybe people here in AZ aren't dressed for it. He retorted that his sister walks outdoors between classes, she is in Middle school. Hmm..valid point. He still has to go to school, recess is his favorite part.

I love my kids, can't even describe how much, but don't always like them. My daughter has a lot of issues, she has Asperger's, teen attitude, hormones, acne, depression..the list goes on-and-on. Plus, as she points out quite a bit, I am her mother. LOLOL, very valid point. With my husband gone so much, the parenting falls on me. I resent this quite a bit. I don't use physical punishment, any more..that is a story for another day.

 As a child I was abused physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually..and it always was that way, until I left at age 19 for the last time..I have not returned to the house I lived in since. My parents are both still alive, I talk to them as rarely as possible. I have seen them numerous times since then, and my Dad even walked me down the aisle for my wedding. I find them appalling for the most part, even though I do love/hate them. They are 2 very messed up people, with pasts that are scarier than mine. I talk to my therapist about this stuff..finally. Avoidance can only be used so much.

I always point out here that I was never sexually abused. I have met and am friends with people who were. I always hold them in the highest respect. That they can survive that and still function and live and love, so can I. The only sexual abuse in my life is what I did to myself...learning to forgive myself and move on is a harder task.

Yowza, this is getting grim, my apologies...sorry.

This blog is part of my therapy, I share and let it out. That I am doing it publicly? I have written journals on and off all my life..it just ended up making me feel I was talking to myself. If anyone finds help or inspiration from my stories? That would be incredibly fulfilling for me..wow! TMI for anyone else? Nobody is forcing you to read this..so whatever. I also have things I will share and not, either because I am not ready, it involves other's or it isn't anybody's business except mine.

Where did I start? Oh, yeah.. GO PACK! I cheered the Packers on to victory in their last Super Bowl win, and no I don't know what year it was. They had almost won it the year before. I wore the shirts and was a fan, and was very excited, even though I know crap all about football. I did the same thing for the Bears when they won the Super Bowl too..in my 20's. It was incredible and fun and then, done. I love the emotion of true fans, even though I don't understand what they are talking about more than 1/2 the time. I nod a lot..lolol.

I am a highly-sensitive emotive empath. A WHAT?? LOLOL..I'll explain that tomorrow, maybe, or the next day. I am going to bed now...getting too tired to see straight.

The next level, whew! You never know what is going on in someone else's life, you can guess or assume but unless you lived in their shoes...their lives, their pain, their joys..you don't know shit. So why are you judging them or feeling superior..or giving them pity? Which is a way worse sin to me. Everybody is a human being, treat them like one. Not how you want to be treated, but how they need or want to be treated. The "Golden Rule" upped a bit to the next level. Yeesh, I am tired and crabby..sleep!

Thanks for listening..ttyal. :-)!